Thursday, February 26, 2004


Blogging to my hearts desire!

I think that the idea of this blog deal was to express how you really feel. So, with that thought in mind…

So, I guess what I am trying to say is that I see a very real and definite connection between the way the nazis death with the Jews of Pinsk in 1941 and 1942 and the way that Poland dealt with me. And this is especially true for the prosecutor Wiesniakowski. How many times did I have to listen to that creepy little man tell me “Your case will be finished soon!”. And the whole of the time he is screaming at me to tell him the truth about my “permanent address” in Poland. I had been there a week! What the hell kind of permanent address was I supposed to have. He even got the Foster Stolte at the embassy to hit me with this nonsense and Stolte went after me like I was the liar.

Do you understand? It was surreal. It was horrifying. And if you would say I am stretching things by making a connection to treatment of those in the ghetto and to myself, try this on for size:

1. They restricted my movement
2. Took away my documents
3. Never gave me any access to information regarding process
4. Disallowed me legal employment
5. Made arbitrary claims against me and made me suffer punishment for these claims
6. Threatened me with imprisonment for these actions, for non-compliance with their system and for being angry at them for torturing me
7. Directly threatened my life
8. And demanded I lie, pay them extortion and pay as well for the process of their torture.

I think I am making a very real point folks.

The word is Fascism. Do you understand this? Fascism is the defined in the dictionary in the following way:

a political system based on a very powerful leader, state control and extreme pride in country and race, and in which political opposition is not allowed

adjective (ALSO fascistic)
fascist groups
a fascist dictator/regime

fascist noun

1 someone who supports fascism

2 a person of the far right in politics

3 DISAPPROVING someone who does not allow any opposition:
He reckons all policemen are fascists and bullies.

That last line right from the Cambridge On-Line dictionary!

But where I am really ashamed of the situation as a whole, is in the lack of original response from people in regards to the situation. People treated it as a joke. As if it was something to be accepted as a part of life.
But I am not speaking of the poles right now, I am speaking of the Americans! I thought that the USA was built on the premise of personal freedom and most specifically freedom from oppression from unfair government actions. We are all over the world screaming bloody murder as well spilling a lot of blood in defense of such situations allover the world. Why didn’t anyone care?

And this to me is exactly what happened in the Nazi ghettos of the second world war. They prayed for salvation while they were being starved and beaten and burned and gassed and raped and robbed and stripped naked and shot. No body was there to help.

We tell me again why this little fat fuck of a prosecutor was allowed to toy with my life and the lives of my friends. Tell me why I had to go broke listening to them lie and cheat me. Tell me again why in the hell it was MY FAULT that THEY decided to take an action against me.

And people, please, please, please listen to what I am saying here: But for the words you are hearing now, I am completely naked out here. Can you understand this?

Explain to me where I have done something wrong. Explain to me how my actions were so bad. And then explain to me how ANYONE CAN FIND SUBSTANCE IN THE CLAIMS OF THESE FASCIST PIG BASTARDS!


I have done a lot of work on the whole blog group today, I have decided to try and make this whole thing a little more complete, so I have added in some more pages about the case and changed the HOMEPAGE and OVERVIEW page somewhat. Maybe I am becoming a bit more serious. And yea, I cussed a bit. But it was from the heart.

I just feel like I have suffered so much here and there is simply nothing anywhere that seems like it carries any relief. And the damages go clean through everything in life right now.

I am sorry. I know that I try to be a bit craftier about things normally. By this I mean that I plan out my blogs and try to make my points with some sense of style, but I simply am starting to lose it a little. I hate that I have to deal with all of this naked and stupid.

And I can’t even get a letter from someone I thought was my friend in Poland about what the courts had to say. Let me say this again: I believed this person was my friend! But for the love of God, am I gain guilty of the crime of being too stupid to remember that she was Polish! And that this simple geographical allegiance should have been enough tell me in the first days never, never, never, never to deal with her in any meaningful way?
So I am tired. I have done too much here today, and to be honest, I have not even checked the mail. Ok lets have a look…


Hi there! Could you tell me something about your living in Belrus? I've tried to translate the (Russian) letter that was at your blog, but somehow It didn't work, and I was able to translate only few lines. So does he talk about something like you will never understand us and something like that? Because if he does than he is truly wrong. Like they say everything is a matter of time.
PS. Do you belive in god?
Tomek K.

Well Tomek,

To answer your questions, life in Belarus is very, very, very hard. There is simply so little money circulating around that people have become somewhat crazy about it. It is all anyone ever speaks about. And this is a shame considering the nature of the culture that people here were coming from. But, aside from cultural problems, the lack of money has created a situation in which everything (including the people) is decaying without very much renewal. The life expectancy here is very, very low, and I think this has a lot to do with the constant pressure involved with simply feeding ones self. I suppose it is also connected to the diet, which is made up of only the very cheapest possible foodstuffs.

The lack of money is also showing itself in the workplaces. Because the money made at work is so dear, corruption and theft have become the norm. And, with there being no “honesty” anywhere, the bosses have gained a remarkable amount of power over the workers, who, without any hope of reprisal or even being able to find another job, work in constant fear.

During he time of the USSR, the actual money paid by the government was, as far as I can see, about what it is now in Poland and Lithuania- about 3-$500 a month. This was enough to keep things going and life was pretty much feasible. But people here now have as little as 1/10th of that, and as a consequence, things are very, very hard.

But there is life, and where there is life, there is hope. The children still slide down on the ice in the winter and swim in the rivers in the summer. People still laugh, though faces have become quite hard and strained.

And as you say, perhaps things will change, though I am not convinced that there are any simple solutions.

And about God… well, that’s none of your Goddamned business!

Love, Adam