Saturday, March 06, 2004


Got a few things to discuss today.

I got two letters concerning the pieces I wrote about Tatiana Menaker and her problems with San Francisco State, and both letters made statements claiming that they thought I am somewhat of a hypocrite. I thought I would take a moment and state my peace about the differences in the situations.

The first letter was a complaint that my statements made about the intelligence of Ms. Menaker’s actions seemed to forget my own choices made in Poland. The point was that I did exactly the same thing in taking the hardest possible rout, rather than simply agreeing with the Polaks and making a bargain.

To start with, I disagree that the situations were the same. There was no political statement in anything I did originally way back in May 2002. Now, though one might say that I felt that punching the cop after he hit me with his car might have had some connection to bikers as a whole, I was in fact for the most part simply “speaking” to one sick and reprehensible individual. And, if there has been any “political” work on my part after the fact, it has only been to expose publicly what had been done to me, personally. The Polish courts were not responding to my actions, they were screwing me of their own volition. And exhibiting how they do their business in general. So any politicizing on my part was after the fact and not a part of my original actions.

And further more, when it came time to paying the fine, the amount of money that was being asked of me, and the crime I was being asked to admit to, was far to large a penalty with far to great potential repercussions for me to submit to it. This on top of the moral dilemma of both having to lie myself and to support the lies of the cop. They were asking me basically to commit suicide so this asshole of a cop could better support his drug of choice habit. Ms Menaker’s situation though was quite different. The GUPS had made no personal attacks on her and her own situation only came under fire after she made aggressive inroads against the GUPS and the lady in charge of their office space. The request to put in a few hours community service was but a slap on the wrist and would have allowed her to continue on afterward. And I also believe that the asked-for service be done for non-Jewish organizations simply meant that Ms. Menaker could not use time she was already contributing.

So though it may appear that the both of us got screwed, the situations where the actual screwing took place were vastly different. I absolutely feel that both causes are real. I just feel that I never had a choice, the whole situation having been too serious to bare and having been entirely thrust upon me. Ms. Maneker’s windmill had been there a long time, and it was her choice to joust with it entirely.

The second letter made no bones about pointing out to me that my problems happened because I was foolish enough to believe that I was safe because of the protection I am afforded by being a citizen of the USA, and that my first and biggest mistake was in leaving in the first place. The point of the letter was that I got what was coming to me for leaving. They said that I went to the embassy for help, cried out that I was an American at every turn, and that this makes me a hypocrite in general and used the words I said about my “personal” Jewishness as another example of this.

First of all, I would like to thank people for at least speaking directly to me about this so at least I have a chance to respond. This is one luxury I have never been afforded in Poland or with the US Embassy. But I would like to say anybody who believes that the USA is some deity in the world, or that having an American passport is an ordination of greatness directly from god is being foolish. The world is a great big place with a lot of different people and a lot of different ideas of how live and what is right and wrong.

But to this very day, I absolutely believe that the US embassy was complicit in this whole affair. I am saying that to me it is painfully obvious that it was not simply a matter of protection, but that the US worked against me, though there was no point or vested interest for either myself of our government for having done so. I say this because I had met and spoke with Foster Stolte of the US embassy long before any of this happened, so I know that he was both aware of me and that I was staying in Belarus. After the fact the US Embassy was very much a part of both the communications between the Prosecutor’s office and myself. One of these communications was concerning a hearing regarding the holding of my passport. Information about this meeting was specifically withheld, and the embassy’s subsequent refusal to admit the truth about who was responsible for disallowing this communication was telling. In addition to that, though I had been sending items about my case to the embassy concerning the reality of the claim against me, they never did one single thing to genuinely help me in any way. Or to say it more clearly, the American embassy has clearly and obviously proven to me that they not only did not give a damn about me or the truth about what was happening to me, did do not one single real act to defend or protect me or offered any real advice or counsel, but they were most probably a apart of the whole affair. All of the above claims are in the case and can be found on this site.

So I am sorry my friend, but there are no laws prohibiting American citizens to go abroad. And, if I found some piece of happiness away from the states and attempted to build on it, that was no business of our government at all. I made no original political statement and I had no qualm, debt or problems with the anyone when I thought to start a little business so I could stay with a woman I met in Belarus. Politicizing me, falsely accusing me and fairly ruining what was really only a small, gentle and well-intentioned act on my part was to my mind the work of both the corrupt Polish judiciary AND some guy at the embassy who thought he had a right to mess with my life- for patriotism or whatever.

So I am sorry folks, I may have feelings and ideas of what the USA stands for, but you will not get me to make any statements of how I feel more secure because of my passport or about the righteousness of the US’s actions abroad. I believe there is a political right and wrong. I believe there needs to be a coherent philosophy of interaction. I do not believe however in either the omnipotence of the USA or in any perceived universal self-righteousness on their part or mine because of the affiliation. And, I simply do not see how anything like the actions that were taken against me could be justified. No good has been accomplished, no real purposes served. I find no honor in the actions of my government in this. None. It just isn’t that way.

“Djenski djen Vosmoi Marta”

Tomorrow and Monday, there will be no daily addition to this blog. Yes, it is the truth. I don’t know exactly how I feel about this, but it will be so. And what is more, I am going to have to cease the daily format entirely and drop the additions down to perhaps three days a week in general.

The specific reason for taking these next two days are that there is a very important holiday here in the former USSR on Monday. “Djenski djen Vosmoi Marta”- the woman’s day on the 8th of March is Monday. Now, though some of the more bitter of the men like to attribute the holiday as dating back to a specific lesbian woman, the general aspect of the holiday is an appreciation for all of the softer half of humanity. It is a day when all revel in their femininity and flowers and chocolates and all things light and beautiful are given as gifts. Tanya even goes so far to say that the men who really love their women, do all of the work about the house on that day, though I am thinking she is trying to slip that one past me. Anyway, this is a serious national holiday so Tanya is off work that day, Egor is out of school and so I will be too.

So davai! Let’s toast to all of those without whom life would not only not be possible, but would also have no meaning, no beauty and none of this indescribable thing we call love:

Na Vosmoy Marta: Za Djenshina!

The reasons for this in general though, are entirely monetary. I have no money. Using the internet costs money. The results of all of this have not been all that I had hoped for. I do believe I am doing some good by being here. But I do not believe the results any longer justify the expense.

Now, to wax philosophical a bit, this blog was intended to make public all of the documents and the facts about what Poland did to me. I say, and have said this as loud as I can, that the people of the Polish judicial system are and have been a bunch of dirty, low-down, no good, rotten scoundrels. I have been saying this over and over and over again. And all of this here was simply presented as proof that they lied, cheated me, and defended falsely and illegally an obviously disturbed fascist pig of a cop and allowed him to lie and to steal from me and my friends.

This daily blog was originally intended simply to keep this whole of the blog-group fresh and new. I think I said a few things that were good. I know that I know a lot more now for having done the work on this that I have. But I counted the money a few days ago, and coming to the internet and laying out the money to keep this going is simply no longer feasible.

I have been living almost completely on borrowed funds for a long, long time. Before this debacle in my life happened I was free from debt. Now to me, this was a very, very big deal. Not being in debt means that you have no outside pressure on your life. Not being in debt means that you re free to make choices. What Poland did to me by holding me in Poland, a place I had no desire to be in or to do business with, did nothing but force me to use credit to pay for every day of my stay. That they also made it impossible for me to do my intended business here in Belarus has further been a problem. And more to the point, they have shown not a single inkling to either admit to what is so frighteningly obvious that they did, or to offer compensation for the damages. As far as I know, they have not even lifted a finger to bring their thief of a cop to justice.

So the suffering goes on day after day after day with no relief ever in sight. My face has been damaged here. That is to say, how people perceive me has been amazingly affected. The damages to my home and my relationship with Tatyana and her family have been great. The damages to my own family and my relationship to people in America and abroad have been great. And yet, they just sit there like the fat repugnant pigs that they are and do nothing day after day after day…

I wrote a book about this. I have created this blog-group. I have been working every day at too great an expense trying to get my point across. It’s all here in black and white. Almost all of the documents, the whole of the case and soon all of the words between my self and my second counselor…. I don’t know what the hell else I a supposed to do.

So anyway, these dailies are going to be reduced to only perhaps three days a week and after today, I will be out until Tuesday.

More next time