Wednesday, March 31, 2004


Drazek seems to like writing to me these days... I got this letter today:

I think I understand what you mean.

6 weeks ago I did go to the court, becouse I was ill. Serious ill.
But now everything is ok (I hope so). So I can help you

But before I'll do this, I need my money back. Can you send me some?



So you see how it is... This was my reply:

I have not forgotten you.
But I have nothing for you now.
I have nothing for tatyana. For egor. For my friends. For my partners. I have just lost two years of my life. My credit. A lot of my name. I have written a book about it. A web page.
I am working really hard to deal wioththe situation Poland decided it needed to put me in in respect to their corrupt police. You were supposed to have helped. You quit when it became too hard for you. Well, the battle has not as yet been won because of this sort of solisity. Perhaps it would have been wiser to think about what you were doing in advance. I didn't ask you to lend me money, you offered. I told you what was the truth and I told I would do my best. I have not lied to you- or forgotten you. But I think you missed the point of my last letter. Head games are not for me. This is your culture, not mine. If you were to help me finish this ut well, there would be some money. And from receiving compensation from Poland would be your money. I think this makes sence. This WAS THE INVESTMENT YOU WERE MAKING, RIGHT? I mean, you weren't just helping me out as a friend, this you have made clear. So you were investing in me. Well, sometimes people forget to follow through with thier investments. And sometimes, peoplen lose money by making foolish choises with their money. I have made such mistakes. I thought that t was a reasonably safe bet to come to Poland for a week to get a new visa for Belarus. But bthat turned out to be a foolish investment because they kidnapped me and help me by the ancles shaking me for my money for 10 months. And aparently, from your letter, they still are. It is funny how Poland is. They just keep taking frm you and taking from you without giving you any7thing back. They tell you all sorts of things, but they don't really do anything for you... Head games. I don't know why any6 tourists should ever4 go to Poland. I don't know why people should want to make business there. And I don't know why people should believe polish when they say things like they are going to help you do something. Specifically like dealing with an extortion from the corrupt Polish police.
I am paying for this internet time, so I am going to stop writing.
No. I have no money for you. I have no money for my life, my friends, my loved ones. I don't need these letters. You know that. But thanks for all of the help in righting my situation. You really are a fighter for your causes. anyone can see that...
Care to talk your way out of this fight? I'll print anything you say.

Too many things going on right now. I have a great urge to write about these things, but I am both a little uneasy in making them public, and bereft of regular money and space to write about them. This is on the computer that I am refering to. So I am getting into pen and paper again.

I guerss it is not so bad. In the old days, before I git into word program and what have you, I used to buy a thick notebook when I had the urge to say something, and I would use that as the basis of my playwriting. The theory was that you could make all of your notes and ideas and dialogues there and then tranfer them to the computer after. It made for a natural edit this way. When I got my computer though, I got out of that habit and went straight for the typing; the speed of word production being for me much more natural for the thought process. But, of course, some Polish guy decided he was the better owner of my things than I was, so that was removed from me as well. So, like we all say in Belarus, we are simply going to have to make do.

And I called my grandma yesterday. I had neglected to call her for almost three months. far too long nd my excuse is simply that I have been worryingg far too much about the money. Anyway, she was really happy to hear from me. There was a time when I had called her, like a religion, every week for 18 years in a row. Anyway, when she asked how I was, I tiold her we are having financial problems and she asked if she could send money. I nearly choked. I choked because of the combination of hearing the words, and how little reality is behind them. It really hurt, but I had to explain to her that this sort of thing simply doesn't happen. it hurt even more when she agreed to the truth of the statement. Ah pain....

Other than this, I have just one other delemma from the same catagory worthy of mentioning. I found a very cool bike for the bike team. Very cool. My problem is that I am afraid that I cannot buy it. It would be perfect for Max, our number one guy and would help him a lot on the regional tournamnet which is coming up in a few weeks.

Don't know what to do. Difficult decision...

Send money!

More soon.