Sunday, May 01, 2005


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Its so hard when I need to find
That way to make the words all bind
I’m not trying to be unkind
I’m just working with the grind
Looking for the signs
Trying not to be blind
Seeing what I can find
Needing to unwind
And leave the rest behind

But you see I got a problem with the spirit
I just can’t seem to get near it
And everything is pushing me clear of it
I wish I could volunteer for it
Or interfere with it
So that I could endear it
And get near it
And not fear it
Drink a beer with it
Shed a tear with it
Lend and ear to it
I just want to hear it

Speaking to me like a friend
Helping my back unbend
And helping the pain to end
But you see I tend
To pretend
And all the time I spend
Avoiding deals that I should tend
And ways that I should blend
In, with my hand extend-
-ed, Money, time, love to lend
On this we depend
And on each other of course, to the bitter end.

But here I spend my days
Not really living anymore anyways
I just hide away
Hair and skin turning gray
Just an empty tray
An out-of-work man at play
Waiting for someone who will pay

Me, for something, someday
And all these words I say
All those unwritten plays
And essays
And right-of-ways
That all got in the way
Maybe its time to pray

Or maybe I forgot what was the point
It was just a little stretching of the joints
I know I came off a little disappointed,
I talked like I should be anointed

As a saint?
Right, like I should be sainted
For those pictures I painted,
For those images I tainted,
For those ideas which I tried to reacquaint
People, who wouldn’t hear my complaint,
Who said it was too faint
Said it was too quaint
And in any case said that they just ain’t
Gonna do it anyway,

Maybe I said too much
Or had lost my touch
Used it like a crutch
Bad behavior and such
Too much Starsky not enough Hutch
But it simply wasn’t enough
Nor was it just
And in the end it was a bust
And now its no more pizza, only crust
No more loving, only lust
No more living, only dust
No more chrome, only rust

You see, I had to leave it all behind
After that period when I was confined
After that mountain I had to climb
You see I had committed no crime
But was still made to do the time
And made to live without a dime
With no sugar for the lime
Swimming in the slime
Voiceless as a mime
An irony so sublime
No more orange, only rind
Not what you have, just what you find.
And now I just can’t seem to find the rhymes

They pointed a finger and talked of guilt
Their noise covered everything like a quilt
Their water murky, filled with silt
Their reasons always left un-built
And yet they kept on with their drilling
On stolen lands they did their tilling
Never caring whose blood they were spilling
How many graves they were filling
Never asking if people were willing
Just reminding them to keep on swilling
Shooting, smoking, snorting, pilling
Said we needed to be chilling
While all the time is was us that they were killing

They said: It was only a simple bust
Believe in what we say you must
Isn’t it easier just to trust
Sit back, relax and ride the bus
Watch you language, do not cuss
Wear your corset, wear your truss
Why should you make the fuss?
Just leave it all to us…

And we did…
We gave them all these powers
Let them dictate from ivory towers
Letting them decide what was theirs and what was ours
And they glowered
Whiled we cowered
Our lives soured
Always Melvins, never Howards

We let them get through to us
To use us
And abuse us
And confuse us
Bemuse us
Defuse us
Reuse us
Refuse us

And now after that has been
Despite all the places I have seen
It’s like there’s just no place left to lean
Its just no longer clean
Its all become so mean
Or even obscene
Things just ain’t what they seem
We’re living in our dreams
It’s a phony regime
It’s empty self-esteem
We’re not really kings and queens
Just players on the teams
Believing that we will rise like the cream

I don’t know, seems a little green
If you know what I mean.

We’ve replaced meat with beans
Slacks with jeans
Moments with scenes
Books with magazines
Great ideas with video screens
Real milk with powdered creams
It all just demeans

But where can you run when there’s no place to hide?
You can't believe in either side
There’ll be no turning with the tide
And in the end we’ll all abide
Without choices we’ll decide
Public faces without pride

And when its done we’ll have to live inside
Away from the pesticides
And genocides
And suicides
As if we’ve already died
And all be cause we lied
Rather than confide
In each other: I guess we never really tried

And that’s how it ends
Never brothers, only friends
Never save, only spend
Never real, only pretend
Never receiving, only sending
Never safe, only fending
Never giving, only lending
Never knowing, only depending
Never healing, never mending
Backs breaking from all of the bending
And always everything, forever offending

And I guess this is the price
For the graft and for the vice
For rolling the dice
And not taking advice
Now our blood is like ice
And we are not even nice
And we scurry like mice
Never thinking twice
Yet still looking for the device

The button for the replay
The excuse that makes a delay
The letter that earns the stay
The ticket that lets us get away
From this bed that we made
From this game that we played

But we can’t; we’ve got to stay…

But it’s all right; it’s ok
I know that that is what you want to hear me say
That it really doesn’t matter anyway
There’s still time left to play
There’s enough on the card; we can pay
Nobody caught us; we got away
It’s all good; we will find our way

We’ll just do like Scarlet when Rhett went away
All we have to do is sit and smile and sigh and say
Hey, fuck it: Tomorrow is another day
Ain’t no thing, what the hey;
That’s just the way things are these days

Aren’t they? Aren't they...

More soon


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